(Reminder: Captions are not real quotes from the movie. Spoilers ahead.)
Last we left off, our hero reached “The Belly of the Whale”
[The Road of Trials]
Isabel’s secret message turns out to be scribbles in stale breath on the window, all of which say Cor 17:1. It’s a bible passage, except, as Angela states, “there is no 17th act” in the bible.
Apparently, she reads the bible cover to back every night before bed. Constantine has Beeman look up Corinthians 17:1 in Hell’s bible.
The passage implies that the son of the devil (Mammon) is trying to cross over, but he needs a powerful psychic (i.e. Isabel,) and divine assistance/the help of God.
As expected, Beeman gets killed for snooping.
They go to Beeman’s apartment, where Isabel reveals that she is also a psychic, but that denying her abilities for years made her stop seeing. She wants to see again, because she realizes what a colossal dick she was to her sister as a child.
Constantine agrees to help her because she’s wearing a white t-shirt and the process involves being fully submerged in water. See? He’s not just thinking of himself anymore.
Constantine nearly drowns Angela in order to help her see again. Her psychic powers lead her to Balthazar’s coin– proof that he was there when Beeman died– proof that he killed Beeman and Hennessey.
Being the good friend that he is, Constantine prepares to fight Balthazar by looting his dead friend’s workshop.
They arrive at Balthazaar’s office (because half-demons have day jobs too,) where Constantine tells Angela to stay in the car, and puts a necklace of protection on her. After all, the car is a dangerous place for a woman.
Two minutes later, she’s out of the car. It turns out that Angela is not just a psychic, but she’s also the reincarnation of Houdini, because she somehow manages to lose the necklace while removing her jacket.
Meanwhile, Constantine threatens to give Balthazar God’s forgiveness, forcing him to reveal that Mammon has found the Spear of Destiny. It’s the spear the Roman soldier used to poke Jesus with while he was on the cross, and “whatever killed the son of God will give birth to the son of the devil.”
Angela finally arrives on the scene, helping Balthazar by being the right psychic in the right place at the right time.
Her body gets sucked through a metal elevator door, a couple walls, and some more walls, before it finally disappears into the night. This totally works, because the movie just established that Angela is Houdini.
Constantine goes back to Papa Midnite and demands to use the chair. Papa Midnite finally decides to help, but not before he beats him up and ruins his $200 shirt.
The chair is an electric chair, which apparently distorts time and hurts like a bitch, but I guess that’s what you can expect when you hang out with a guy named Papa Midnite. After using the chair, Constantine finds out where he needs to go for the final confrontation.
Trials and tests
Read Cor 17:1 from the Hell Bible. Make hot girl scuba dive in bathtub. Kill Balthazar. Let a guy named Papa Midnite touch you (For the record, this is also my list of things to do before I die.)
The hero makes a commitment to new way of resolving things
He helps Angie see again, even though it will inevitably make his job (stopping Mammon) more difficult.
The hero receives more supernatural aid
Papa Midnite lets him use the chair.
[Woman as the Temptress]
Missing: This is an iffy one for me. I have a few ideas, but they’re more like interpretations. To avoid making a stab in the dark, I’m going to consider this missing. If you disagree, leave a comment! Share your thoughts!
Shia Labeouf is in this movie.